today we were supposed to begin working on helping me to stop being anxious over the idea of having the next panic attack.  we were to begin by inducing a panic attack within the safe confines of therapy.  we had to, however, finish working on the skeleton of our plan…which was fine with me, because i wasn’t quite sure if i was ready for an all out attack! save that for next week…

i want to see:  eat pray love.  that is something that i would love to do in real life…go on an adventure…marvel at something.

today…i blurted out that i would make a great prisoner of war…then i said that was stupid.  i was told that it was survival…which is the opposite…which in reality is very smart.  i hadn’t thought about it that way.

i learned that addiction is an attachment.

and…i learned that people with body image/size disorders tend to have ptsd, as a form of coping mechanism.