what i learned…
i recently learned that i suffer from food addiction, a form of disordered eating.
a few months back, i decided to try the medi-fast diet to drop some weight. i had seen many of my friends and acquaintances have great success with the plan, and so i decided to give it a try. i thought that it would be so easy, all of what i needed was in a tiny little pouch…i just needed to add water. it was supposed to be that easy. i had always had great willpower and self-control…
the first three days were supposed to be the worst, but everyday after that was even worse. everyday, every hour, every minute…every meal i was so sad…i was grieving…grieving the loss of smell, taste, feeling of texture, ability to chew. i slipped into sadness and depression…i felt so hopeless, wanting to do the plan and lose weight…but, becoming so despondent that i had to quit. i rationalized to myself that medi-fast just wasn’t the right plan for me…and perhaps something else would be…all the while smothering the real reasons and feelings for my grief with food.
it was here, at this point, that i learned that i was addicted to food…that i had an eating disorder.
dys't 
I often wonder if I have the same problem… I’m a diagnosed bulimic, but I take such pleasure and comfort in eating that it’s nearly impossible for me to control my eating… ESPECIALLY if I’ve been feeling down and out. I’m always swinging between severe restriction and all-out gluttony. It sucks.
wow! so…i’m not the only one! it must be really hard for you. i am also always hovering between not eating anything/or enough…and all out gluttony. i find myself hoarding food, just so that i know that i have it in case i need it at some point later. i do not like to share my food. i worry that i will not have food if i really need it. i have found that the act of eating, to me has become the most important *ritual* in my life. the food *ritual* consists of: knowing what my main meal for the day will be (so that i can look forward to it all day), procuring my meal (either through purchasing a readymade meal or cooking), making sure that i have no distractions, eating either as slowly as possible to make the food last, or as fast as possible, to try to fit as much in at a time. are you in recovery for your eating disorder? is there any piece of advice that you can offer others with issues similar to ours?
Hey – I was just going through my WordPress comments and saw that I never responded to this! I don’t have a great solution, unfortunately. I’m still very much in recovery, and, while I haven’t relapsed, I HAVE gained ten pounds. So there’s that to struggle with.
On the upside, I have a great excuse to go shopping for a new wardrobe.