the bible was a mainstay in my life growing up. the book awed and captivated me…i felt compelled to read it…over and over again…each time, finding something…something that i could think about and ponder…and apply to my life. it was if God himself had spoken to me…after all, i was brought up to believe that the bible was the “inspired” word of God. the books…the chapters…the verses…all inspired by…all “breathed”…by God. how could that fact alone not captivate and pull one in?

well…God’s voice captivated me. it was a strong and absolute voice. in the old testament…before the “new law,” God had an angry and booming voice used to deal with the doubting Israelites wandering through the desert. God often times chose to speak in different ways, through different people and things. God spoke to moses via a burning bush. He spoke to king nebuchadnezzar via prophetic dreams interpreted by daniel. God spoke to abraham via an angel…asking him to sacrifice his only son isaac.

God began speaking very differently in the new testament…under the “new law.” He now chose to speak through His only Son, Jesus. and…all of the sudden…not only does the voice change to one of love and acceptance…but…the written word changes too. the words that Jesus has spoken…are identified with a different color of ink…red! all of the sudden, the harsh and booming voice of God…gives way to the kind and gentle words of His Son…Jesus. Jesus knew how to talk to people…how to listen to their needs. He spent time with everyday people, with everyday problems…sharing His message of love and forgiveness. His voice…captivates me.

it was 4:30 am…still quite dark outside. the air conditioner was churning its recycled air throughout the house…incidently the temperature of the air inside was much warmer than the breeze from outside. it was the first time in days…that she hadn’t woken up with a sweat soaked t-shirt. the signs were all in place…hopefully, it would be a cooler weekend.

what woke her up? she couldn’t quite remember. she certainly must have slept well…her cpap was still attached to her face, and she felt envigorated…ready to face the day. but…back to what woke her up at 4:30 am. was it sarah mumbling in her sleep? was it gunther…sassing for his breakfast kibbles? or…was it her own growling stomach?

she was pulled from her rem sleep…initially by sarah, and the mumbling she was making in her sleep. she laid there…semi-awake, semi-asleep…trying to guess what sarah might be dreaming about. while almost dropping off of the deep sleep cliff…once again…she felt the very familiar touch of a soft, warm muzzle on her left elbow. “good morning, mama!”…gunther said in his own special way…”i have to go potty!”

they went outside together…the mama and her “boy”. it was nice outside. cooler outside, than inside. the morning air screamed fall…autumn…crisp, cool, clean. they went back inside together. he looked at her wanting his breakfast kibbles. she said that it wasn’t time yet. he let out a long sass of…”…oooooooooooooooooooooooh!” she caved. she had a sick and growling stomach. she decided to feed the dogs, so that she could feed herself, without feeling guilty.

she sat in her recliner…enjoying the darkness of the living room. she unwrapped a tuna sandwich from safeway. she took a bite, then another, and another…until it was gone. it filled her…she was quite satisfied. the air outside was much cooler than the air inside…and…crisp…very crisp. she thought to herself that fall was here…finally! she went back outside. she sat down…in an adirondack chair…in the cabana. watching dieter, gunther, and spreckles play.

she went inside. she turned off the air conditioner, and opened up the house. it began filling with the cool…outside air. she smiled to herself…thinking that fall had finally arrived. the air inside…became like the air outside. cool. crisp. clean. she sat back in her recliner. popped the foot rest up. closed her eyes…and embarked on a “cat nap.”

tinkered around doing nothing
played games on the computer
watched tv
watched oz with sarah
played with the dogs
melted from the heat
ordered pizza
ate pizza
went to bed

take a shower
get dressed
sort laundry
wash laundry
fold and put away laundry
scan collages
post collages
figure out shipping for nintendo
send buyer a paypal invoice
play frisbee with dieter
paint with gunther
go to the market

answered plinky prompts
blogged
fed the dogs
given the dogs their meds
given ben his meds
heated up leftover bacon, cheddar cheese burger pizza for breakfast
taken my pills
taken the dogs out to play

i apologized for becoming fifth gear the week before
came to the realization that fifth gear = panic (attack)
listened and answered questions, instead of just running amok
revisited the previous session regarding the group and her leaving
talked about continuing therapy in her portland office
discussed rates
talked about my previous experiences with therapy and therapists
examined my anxiety level

no homework for this week and no appointment next week because of labor day

i have never tried to pick up someone using a line. i feel that most pick-up lines are offensive. i guess if someone is going to use a line…they better put some thought into it…and it least make it original and unforgettable.

the worst lines, in my opinion, are the ones that are unimaginative, such as:

“come here often?”

“what’s your sign?”

“do you have the time?”

i generally, as a rule, really despise pick-up lines…and the whole “dating” scene. i find pick-up lines to be rather insincere and patronizing. i ask myself…what self-respecting woman, or man, would fall for something…a pick-up line…so meaningless and hokey.

do pick-up lines lead to anything more that a “hook-up?”

who comes up with these lines?

why do people feel the need to open up a conversation with a seemingly “empty” platitude?

i have never really heard a pick-up line that i liked. i have heard some that i felt were clever, even laughable…but, really just obnoxious overall. i will, however, share something that did “work” on me…embarrassing…as it may be.

a friend and i decided to go and walk around the pride festival one year in balboa park. we were walking around…minding our own business, when we walked past a tent…where people were dancing on a dance floor. i don’t dance…so…i wanted to just keep on walking, but, my friend wanted to go and dance. i stood to the side of the dance floor and waited very impatiently for her to get done with her “one dance.” at one point…i happened to look up…and make eye contact with someone…as i had been averting my eyes…making sure not to lock in on anyone. i felt my face go red and hot…i started to walk away. someone yelled at me…i looked up…and i saw the girl that i had locked eyes with. she was looking at me. she threw an imaginary lasso rope around me…and preceded to “pull” me in. i was completely mortified…and i “ran” away. in the end…i was later “chased” down by this strange girl, and she was successful in her quest to get my phone number.

i am not proud of it…but, that was a “pick-up” that was used successfully on me.

i love la jolla. i was born and raised in san diego, california. most weekends…sundays after church, if we were “good girls,”…were spent at la jolla shores. my parents would lay out and sun themselves. my sister and i would swim in the ocean for hours…riding waves into shore on our boogie board. my mother would pack a great picnic lunch…either roast beef sandwiches and homemade potato salad…or shaved ham sandwiches and homemade potato cheese soup. it was always such a treat to sit on the 70′s colored bedspread…bright yellow and burnt orange flowers…in the warm sand…savoring every delicious bite of our picnic lunch.

Some of the places that made la jolla so dear to me include:

the birch aquarium at scripps institute of oceanography, http://www.aquarium.ucsd.edu/

the museum of contemporary art san diego, http://www.mcasd.org/

the sunny jim cave store, http://www.cavestore.com/

la jolla shores, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Jolla_Shores

la jolla cove, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Jolla_Cove

generous
i am very generous with what i have to offer others…whether it is my time, my money, or my help.

kindness
i am kind to others. i am often times the caring stranger that listens to another’s story, offers some money for food, or just gives a needed hug.

patience
i am a very patient person. i can wait for a very long time to get what i want. i have always felt that if something is worth having…it is worth waiting for.

loving
i am a very loving person. when i love a person, pet, or thing…i love it with my whole heart. i make sure that the person or pet know that they are very loved.

responsible
i am a very responsible person. i can always be counted on to be there…to do a good job…to help in any capacity.

trustworthy
i am a very trustworthy person. i can be trusted with secrets, money, plans. i can keep a secret as long as is needed.

loyalty
i am a very loyal person. i will stand by my friends or family to the bitter end. once i accept you…you gain my loyaty and trust…i will fight for you, i will believe in you, i will die for you.

honesty
i try to be a very honest person. i try to always tell the truth…even when the truth hurts. honesty is the best policy.

humor
i feel that i am a person who has a very good sense of humor. i try to look at this in a humorous way. laughter is the best medicine.

vigilance
i am a very vigilant person. i try to be ready and prepared for most anything…pet emergencies, earthquakes, sickness. it is always good to be prepared.