{word} = sad

sad —>

1 a : affected with or expressive of grief or unhappiness : downcast b (1) : causing or associated with grief or unhappiness : depressing <sad news> (2) : regrettable,deplorable <a sad relaxation of morals — C. W. Cunnington> c : of little worth
2 : of a dull somber color

issues that were sad for me in the past —>

death of pets
dad slaughtering turkey and rooster
not being believed
not being listened to
parents taking church’s side
parents thought that perhaps i was occupied by a demonic spirit
knowing that if i had been under 18…my parents would have sent me to “christian girl’s prison”
knowing that my dad didn’t want me for a daughter
knowing that they would always choose melissa over me

issues that are sad for me in the present —>

loss of sam
knowing that i wasted so much time…and not just my own
thinking about dieter and gunther getting older
knowing that i will never be …what i used to be…in the eyes of another 

goals for dealing with being sad in the future —> 

it is okay to feel sad…i just won’t let it consume me…and i will not wallow in it

{word} = guilt

guilt —>

1 : the fact of having committed a breach of conduct especially violating law and involving a penalty; broadly : guilty conduct
2 a : the state of one who has committed an offense especially consciously b : feelings of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy : self-reproach
3 : a feeling of culpability for offenses

i felt guilt in the past from —>

lying
stealing money from my grandma
breaking into the freezer to get candy
stealing cookies from the cookie jar
peeking at christmas presents
disobeying my parents
disobeying God
praying with my eyes open in church

i feel guilt in the present from —>

wanting more than i can have
mean spirited talk
emotional outbursts
angry fits
being sick
from taking too long to finish things and move
for hoarding food
for overeating
for bingeing
for being morbidly obese
for being disabled and unable to work
for my lack of finances

goals for guilt in the future —>

when i feel guilty, i would like to stop…examine the feeling…talk myself through it, and move on
i will really need help in identifying and disarming potential situations in which i may feel guilt
remember that if it makes me feel at all guilty…i should not do it

{word} = shame

shame —>

1 a : a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety b: the susceptibility to such emotion <have you no shame?>
2 : a condition of humiliating disgrace or disrepute : ignominy <the shame of being arrested>
3 a : something that brings censure or reproach; also : something to be regretted : pity<it’s a shame you can’t go> b : a cause of feeling shame

what brought me shame in the past —>

lying and getting caught in lies
sexual identity
talking too much
gossip and getting caught gossiping
anger
disobeying parents

what brings me shame in the present —>

coping mechanisms from the past that have left me emotionally stunted or disabled
inability to make a decision
inability to complete tasks and projects
promising more than i-myself can do
inability to say, “no”
gossiping
being physically less than i used to be
being morbidly obese
food addiction
disappointing my significant other
disappointing my parents
lack of finances
anger issues

goal for the future —>

disarm the shameful feeling through self acceptance and forgiving
arm self with positive messages to replace negative messages
learn to listen to true self and act accordingly

word reflection…

i intend to do a reflection on each of the words that i was given in therapy…in the hopes of perhaps finding some kind of revelations about myself.

i think that i will do the following —>

define the word, it’s actual meaning
what meaning did it hold for me in the past
what meaning does it hold for me today
any future goals pertaining to the word

what are {words} for?

the words are —>

shame
guilt
sad
afraid
angry
victimized
tired
energized
happy
calm
hungry
satiated
full-over
thirsty